Italian Chaos
by catfish17
Summary: Italy is a girl and having such a drama-filled life, it's going to get a hell of a lot worse for her! With Prussia raging war and the New Heroes equipped with only longbows and swords, the only thing Italy can do is laugh and eat pasta! But a newly awoken secret is reappearing and the past is coming back to haunt her. And will her relationship with Germany improve?*DISCONTINUED*
1. Chapter 1

**This is if Italy was a girl. She still has the same bubbly and hyper personality as before; with some added twists.** **Cut me some slack because this is my first ever fanfic and I'm crappy at grammar and that stuff!**

" Hey, where is everyone? No one want pasta? Has England cursed the tower of Pizza and it become a mutant and killed everyone? Oh god, where the fucking hell is Germany! I don't want to be swallowed by a Half-wolverine pizza tower!"

I screamed at the top of her lungs. I'm standing all alone in a posh hall with gold threaded curtains. A long oak table, neatly set with names, snow white plates and brass pots of pasta.

_Shit Nobody's here. I'm all alone. _

I blinked a couple of times. My body was on fire, embarrassment I don't feel half the time. Lucky no one can see me cry.

I crouch down on the floor by the table.

_Not even him._

_Damn him!_

_ * _flashback*

" Hey everybody!"

" Hi." The other other countries say dully.

" Do you want pasta?" I ask everyone, then I start dancing around the room singing with my pretty white flag. " Pasta. Pasta. Pasta. I love pasta!"

" Yeah. We'll have some pasta, Italy" Prussia calmly replied, in his dark velvety voice." But only at your house."

My eyes filled with happy tears and I danced across the room to hug Prussia ( I love giving hugs but none of the others hug, it's slightly awkward being so close to Prussia's chest and dick).

He gives me the evil eyes, but no one evil loves pasta. I hug him really hard.

Since I'm the only girl at all the important meeting and orders of retreats I always fill the guys in with some of the girly gossip. I don't mind they are all my friends! Like what sort of party Korea is having or the latest music videos. All the other female countries can be quite annoying but some of them like pasta.

I love PASTA!

Suddenly I feel an intensive heat pounding on my back. My cheeks go red as I turn to see Germany giving me and Prussia the darkest look 's been annoyed at Prussia for betting him at a drink off and Prussia hasn't stopped boasting. I can only have a couple of shots before I stand swearing at the top of my head and dancing in only my pants.

I like Germany. He's like an older brother to me. But then I would have two older brothers?

God, that would be creepy!

And anyway I don't think he likes pasta that much?

*end or flashback*

So it was all a scam! I got my arse kicked. Prussia doesn't like pasta and no one could be fucking came.

I sit and eat my pasta, by myself, in one of the kitchens. Thoughts race through my head and one of the assistant waiters noticed my gloomy mode.

But I ignore him and everyone else as I run out of my house into the market covered Italian streets.

One thought is in my head. Over the years it has come to me often, and now seems the best time to shout it out.

" Germany! Germany! Help!"


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, this Chapter two! Autumn Black 74 has been asking me for ages to put this up! So please read and review! She is a great writer so check out Autumn for me! I help create characters for her. Go Rayn and Lara in Black Flames! So on with the story! This epic and amazballs story! XD

Disclaimer: if I owned Hetalia I would be fucking famous and speak Japanese! But.. Konnichi wa Catfish desu. Suki wa tabemono sushi desu. Sushi ga oishii desu!

Germany is really scary!

Not the person, the country!

Fucking hell no.

They barely have any health and safety rules and are children running a mock in the middle of a road. Half eaten chewing gum spatters the pathways. The smell of beer and sausages is strong outside a German pub. It's, I think, the middle of winter and piles of snow are lying around.

I notice some yellow snow where a dog has been.

_Lol!_ _A random dog just pissed._

I don't own a car so I have to walk everywhere. I used to but the police said I was a " danger to public safety". Or get a train. I'm humming a pasta song as I cross the road to Germany's house. I knock a couple of times: without an answer.

" Germany! You there? Germany!" I wail.

" Be quiet! And go away," a gruff voice murmurs.

" Germany this important! Let me in! " I complain even louder.

The door clicks open, and Germany pulls me by the collar of my jacket. The door is closed quickly by Germany.

"You didn't..." I start shouting, until he crashed my foot with his army boots. I hop around swearing to high heavens, " why did you fucking do that..."

Again I'm interrupted as Germany tugs me into the kitchen and leans over me. His face inches from mine. I can feel his breath on my face. It's hinted with alcohol.

_He's not going to rape me! Or is he? Damn! I'm not going to be raped, or killed or raped._

I'm shaking now.

If glances could kill, I'd be a skeleton. Can skeletons eat pasta? Right? I don't know. I'd hate to be a skeleton if I couldn't eat pasta. _Hell, stop thinking about pasta! _

" Shout the hell up bitch!" Germany replies in an icy voice. He points upwards with his index finger and whispers " Prussia. Asleep. Alcohol."

I go quiet. The shaking has thankfully subsided. His blue eyes scan up and down. Calculating, watching, thinking.

I barely ever wear anything fancy or pretty and now in my army jacket, with the Italian flag and the Roman empire symbol, a simple white t-shirt and jeans. I could be wearing a short skirt but running away is so much harder in a shitty skirt.

Suddenly, the door is thrown open by Ukraine.

" Italia, Italia. I'm pregnant! It's wonderful!" Ukraine shouts and starts dancing around the room as Germany tries to explain about Prussia. She has forgotten her back problems now.

Once Germany has settled us down, military style, he goes off to a nearby pub. So me and Ukraine start gossiping about girly stuff by Ukraine's a great person in a conversion.

" So who is the father?" I ask.

" That's the thing I don't know."

" What the fuck..." Again I'm interrupted by someone.

" It's was not by accident. There's was this guy I met. It was dark and we... Well did it as you know," she says slowly " I really want to see him again and tell him. But we lost contract. I feel so lonely. Being all by myself with this baby. That's why I came to tell you. You're always fun and hyper all the time."

" Is that why you didn't come to my pasta lunch?"

" Oh I'm so sorry, really, I was at the hospital and when received the news. I came round afterwards and you wouldn't there so I thought you would be at Germany's house 'cause you're always with him."

I blush and Ukraine giggles.

" Whatever!" I say half laughing with embarrassment "I'm off to bed."

" Yeah aren't you?" I smile and skip up the stairs of a house I know better than my own.


	3. Chapter 3

I always sleep under the covers.

Even at Germany's house which is heavily guarded by traps, medieval weapons and machine guns.

It's because I'm scared a creep will kidnap/countrynap me and sell me off, kill me or torture me. Or rape me. So if I sleep under the covers they may not notice me and walk past and kidnap/countrynap somebody else.

I wake fucking hot ( in both ways, lol ) and sweaty beside a leg.

Fuck! _I was sleeping next to Germany! Damn my life is over! I don't what to end up like Ukraine with a huge belly with a kid who is going to end up a bastard!_

My heart is racing to fast to count it's pulse. A bead of sweat trickled down my face. Shit. I slide up, towards the pillow to see who the hell has been sleeping in my bed.

A stranger is there tied up with duck-tape, cross the mouth and around the chest, he is awake now. His brown eyes hinted with green and bronze stare at me.

Fuck!

Maybe its because I'm wearing a really open top and my bra is hanging off the chair.

I don't know him. He must be another country like me. He isn't from Europe or America? I definitely not from Asia or one of those countries, he hasn't got those tiny eyes ( can they actually see out of them?) and only has a slight tan. The stranger I'm leaning next is wearing a green t-shirt with a yellow stripe dashing up each side of it. His a rich brown coloured hair sticks out at weird angles over his face which has stubble on it.

His breathing has quickened as he is staring at me. Wide eyed. I actually have slept in someone's bed. But they never see me or do anything with me. Mostly I think they move beds that night or go out for a drink or sushi.

I rip off the duck-tape on his mouth and I'm greeted with a yowl of pain.

" Why the fuck did you do that! You moron! You shitty arsed bitch. I'll never have any stubble there let alone a hair! Damn you" he pauses and glances at me with a tilted head " Who the fucking hell are you?"

I slap him as hard as I can.

" I am Italy Veneziano, granddaughter of the Roman Empire!"

" WTF is that!"

I hear something movement in the corridor and I duck down under the covers, the guy wriggles under with me, this is #awkward stuff.

" Ok you get rid of this stupid duck-tape stuff around my waist and I'll jump out the window and boom escape to warmer weather! Wait a mo how tall is the window!"

" It's only couple of metres high."

* 5 minutes later after a lot of struggling and the a dramatic speech*

" _SPLAT!_" The weirdo landed in the snow from the 4 story high window.

" Fuck you! Damn you!" The stranger says through a mouthful of snow.

" Who the fuck are you!"

" Hahahahahahah! Italy is crappy at rugby, cricket and footie and has a bad memory!" He shouts loudly and sprints off into the snow.

" Damn you what the hell is this! I remember it being warmer! Shit this c-co-cold!"

" Deal with it! You're a country and country's have snow!"

I can hear a laugh muffled by the wind and quieted by the white snow. I look out across the white garden and see the strangers footsteps marked across the sheet of white. The cold wind bites at my exposed arms and collar, so rap my self in my jacket which had been lieing on the chair. What happened next caused chaos and death for me and made my remember something which I forgot centuries ago. Something people feared I would remember; something people willed to come out; I really would like some pasta right now.

**"My head is going mentally fucking insane from all this thinking, cut me some slack! I'm not that intelligent to do a whole paragraph of thinking and describing!"**

**Catfish," well just get on with the story!"**

**" But its the end of the chapter!"**

**"Oh yeah. So here's a spoiler Bed Time With Italy And Germany!"**

**" That wasn't in the contract!"**

**" Ok I'll take you to Pizza Express on Friday!"**

**" YEAH! PIZZA! Personally I prefer pasta."**

**" You slutty bitch!" I rugby tackle with fully loaded crossbow, and yes I can get my hands on a crossbow, shouting, " I will shoot you in the head if you don't fucking eat that pizza."**

**" Ve- I'm sorry. I don't what to die! I don't want to die! I don't what to die! I don't what to die! I don't what to die! I don't what to die! I don't what to die! I don't what to die! I don't what to die! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi! This the fourth chapter of Italian Chaos!** **~ Hasta la pasta!**

" Bloody hell! Who the fuck is that!" German howls ad he storms down the corridor in only his underpants. I can't help staring at him. Watching the movement of his legs, his crouch and chest, close to a six-pack. His blonde hair tangled, some across his bright blue eyes and the others falling perfectly at different angles. Germany walks past my door without glancing at me and my gaping open my mouth and my hanging out tongue.

I pace after him at his heels and I hear Ukraine picking up, behind. At the stairs, Germany retrieves a machine gun from the wall. Ukraine's face drained of colour at the sight of the gun.

" Do you know who the hell are they!" I whisper to Germany, millimetres from his face.

" On three, you open the door and I shoot. You, Ukraine, you... You.. um...you can shot any idiots who get too close with a handgun."

" I don't have a handgun!" She wines. _God who the hell wines like that! Seriously!_

" Then hide somewhere!" Germany growls.

" Can I hide! I'm great at that! I. DON' . ! I. DON' . ! I. DON' . ! I. DON' . ! I. DON' . ! I. DON' . ! I. DON' . !"

Germany slapped me and starts chasing after me firing the machine gun at me. " Germany. Germany stop it. Germany quit it will ya. Germany. Ahwwwww!"

" What the fuck is happening in there!"

" Shit my sister is in there!"

" I believe I've the similar commotion happening at night."

" Italy is being attack by an insane rapist!"

" No being chased by a revolver."

" I have something bigger than a revolver!"

Russia bursts in through the wooden door with a huge flipping gun, like one from a sci-fi movie, and shot a blooming giant blue electro ball of me and Germany.

Germany ducked under a table, while started to flap my little white flag screaming" I. Don't. Want. To. Die!"

" Ah sorry Italy I wasn't going to shoot you. And see all your flesh hanging from your charted skeleton, and watch your burnt framework collapse from pressure of your thunder stoke heart and liver."

" O-o-ok-k Russss-ia..." I'm half sputtering as the coldness grips my body.

" You broke my mahogany door!" Germany shouts from behind a well placed table. He is shaking a bit from Russia's dramatic description.

" See. I'm the hero because Russia broke down the door since I asked him."

" That sentence has no grammar and you didn't fucking know that Russia had a blooming fucking giant alien gun with him!" I heard a posh voice say.

" Everyone is outside Ukraine! You know what means PASTA!" I shout with happiness, I sprint of into the kitchen with Ukraine, giggling.

" You are not fucking going into my kitchen!" Germany hates me cooking in his kitchen, says what ever I make is worst than English sconces.

" You have to invite the guests in. It's your mahogany doomed house."

" If you haven't seen I'm in only my underpants!"

" No, I try not to notice them. And Russia could always blown up that fancy painting of you in Germanic war amour." I smile happily, big eyed, big smiled. I point at a painting of Germany in some fancy Germanic armour.

" Fine." Germany walks off, scowling. Completely embarrassed that he got owned by a girl.

* After a very, very, VERY long pasta lunch and dinner, when the other countries were settling down with full stomachs*

" Well any ideas what to do now." Scotland asks with his wild accent " 'Coz I'm bored!"

" I know," Canada says in quiet voice " Country truth or dare! It's better than normal truth or dare!"

" I know Truth or dare!" I shout over the other countries' muttering.

" Whatever!" " Great!" " I said that." "Cool, I'm doing the first dare!" " Pasta!"

" Ok, England," France says in a posh French accent " Do you like, like really like me!"

" Fucking hell no!" England yells and strangles France and head butting him continuously. " Don't... You... Fucking... Say... That... Ever... A... Again!" He cursed between head butts. It's quite scaring watch to geographically close countries fight like warriors for the love of a bloodbath.

" Ok next one..." Scotland continues as his brother beats up France as he waves a white flag, MY white flag, Scotland must be really embarrassed about his brother who is such a crappy cook." Russia," Russia turns round this dark eyes glaring at Scotland, " Ok truth or dare. It's a really good truth!" Scotland hinted the Russian to say truth and he does.

" Yes. Truth then Russia has nothing to hide," he grins cunningly.

" Do you believe there is such thing as a Continent?"

" No, and if there were I would kill them Russian style!" I could hear a pin drop, the entire room is shaking a Russia's dislike of Continents. Fear splashes around the lapping everyone's feet in stone cold panic. A snow storm of fears and nightmares surrounds Russia and his mentally cracked head. A bloodbath forever.

" My turn," Prussia says like created the game Truth or Dare. " Italy truth or dare then?" I'm in mood to be braver and show off my amazingly crappy sense of courage.

" DARE!"

" I dare you dare you must have sex with Germany! And don't forget the condoms!"

_Fucking hell!_

**Catfish: Hey guys! Btw I won't be able to update for a couple of weeks because I'll be in France, trying to stay away from France! My other friend is going to Italy! Italy! Damn you Miriam!**

**France: what's wrong with France?**

**Catfish: first I can't speak French and the last I was there my other friend's money got stolen and I was going to complain to the manager, or who I thought was the manager, but I remembered I can't speak any damn French!**

**UK: Haha you have to go to France!**

**Catfish: I want to stay at home! In England! And eat sconces!**

**UK: see one person likes them!**

**France: ...**

**Catfish: or I can go to the Random Stranger's country ( btw don't talk to strangers! ) its got way better weather than England!**

**UK: well fuck you! * walks off ***

**Catfish: If I owned hetalia the random stranger would be a real character, you will see/read later, or if I was able to write enough Japanese then I would send in a letter!**

**France: oh well at least you still me! * pervert smile***

**Catfish: ... Help...**


End file.
